My guest stood, trying her best to explain her position, but my brain could no longer comprehend her words. Like many autistics, I have a strong commitment to social justice and human rights. “While I think that gay people should be treated the same as everyone else,” she said, “I simply believe that marriage is only meant for a man and a woman.” I was succeeding at social interaction! My attempts at eye contact, my collections of prewritten scripts, my well-practiced facial expressions–my mask was working. We ate stir fry and laughed about our workplace troubles. One night, a newfound friend came to my apartment for dinner. When meltdowns are painted as tantrums, people perceive autistic individuals as manipulative, destructive, and infantile.Īfter I graduated college and moved into my own apartment, I tried to navigate a new world of professionalism and adult friendships. Some may imagine an angry adult that raises their voice in order to bully a partner or friend. Merriam-Webster defines a tantrum as “a fit of bad temper.” The term evokes images of children screaming in grocery stores over an unpurchased toy. This mindset is particularly damaging to autistic people, because it minimizes the need for the loving support that we require during these critical moments. There is a common misunderstanding that meltdowns are the same as tantrums. I couldn’t possibly pretend to be neurotypical at both home and school. They had no idea how much stress I’d endured throughout the school day. My mother and older siblings couldn’t understand why I immediately started slamming doors and shouting at them. I followed school rules to a T.Įverything bottled up, and after hours of play-acting, I returned home to a bustling apartment. I watched my words and expressions, scrutinizing any possible slip-ups. However, as soon as I stepped through the school gates, my serenity crumbled beneath the social weight of everyday interactions. I walked to school alone, enjoying several minutes of peace through a nearby park. I practiced my usual routine of washing my face, brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and eating breakfast. In high school, I woke every morning to a quiet house. Autistic people are more likely to experience these meltdowns than neurotypical people for a variety of reasons, but a notable finding is that autistics “tend to start their day with a higher level of stress and anxiety, leaving them with less room to cope with additional stress” (Autism West Midlands). These crisis points are triggered by high levels of stress, as well as social and sensory overload. According to Autism West Midlands, an autism meltdown is a time of crisis during which “a person may show extreme behaviors like shouting, self harm, aggressive behavior, and repetitive behavior” that may or may not pose as “a risk of harm to the person themselves or to others.” What is an autism meltdown? For each autistic individual, meltdowns will present a little differently. What is an autistic meltdown?Ĭontent notice: suicide attempt, racial slur, meltdowns The screen shattered as my emotions exploded into painful shards. I grabbed my friend’s computer and threw it on the tile floor. I started throwing potted plants at glass windows. Anger pumped into me like a ferocious waterfall into a small pond. I masked myself into a delightful companion.īut when I returned home, the sensory and social overload kicked in. I sipped at a few spiked sparkling waters. My friends chatted away, enjoying Saturday night revelry. The dance club swirled around me in a helter-skelter of flashing lights, pounding music, laughing crowds, and spilt alcohol. Choosing a Good– or Bad– Therapist for Your Autistic Child.Directory of NeuroDivergent Graphic Designers & Illustrators.Directory of Specialists Diagnosing Autism (ASD) in Adults.Directory of NonSpeaker Pages, Blogs, & Media.AAC: Augmentative & Alternative Communication.
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